Snooki’s Book Isn’t Even a Beach Read

Only one word can describe A Shore Thing by Snooki—Grenade! As in, a bomb. 

It is all about the ups and downs of the Jersey Shore, and everything about it is predictable. Everyone has heard this typical “fall in love at the shore” story before Snooki had the urge to turn novelist.

Giovanna “Gia” Spumanti is a spunky, short party girl who goes down to the Jersey Shore with her cousin Bella Rizzoli in search of a break from her boring life. Gia’s character is evidently based on Snooki, and Bella has some of the characteristics of Jenni—both cast members of The Jersey Shore. Gia and Bella go through the daily grinds of the Jersey Shore. They both find jobs and enough free time from those jobs to make questionable choices.

Gia is the most beautiful person in all Seaside, and the local boys take notice. She eventually coaxes an attractive firefighter into falling in love with her, and he whisks her away from the dangers that seem to follow her all around Seaside.

This book is all about what Snooki really wants her life to be, and that gives the novel a certain desperate quality. She writes about how fantastic she is and how every guy thinks she is the most attractive girl in the world.

Bella and Gia go through the stereotypical plot twists. Gia and Bella search throughout Seaside for guys, and they both find some, though they have to leave several heartbroken before they find the men for whom they have always been searching. Then Gia and Bella get in a fight with each other over their boys. They both, of course, get in fights with their boyfriends, and, of course, forgive them just in time for the fairytale ending. Gia and Bella, of course, fix their friendship and enjoy their time with the boys. But, in the end, the girls decide that it is better to postpone marriage, leaving the men in Seaside with the hope that the girls will come back someday when they are more mature.  To all of you fans of the television show: Does this sound familiar?

This book was painful to read. Snooki, darling, I would stick with Jersey Shore and stop publishing your fantasies.