Breaking News: World Doesn’t End

Posted on June 10, 2011 by

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May 21st, 2011, was supposed to be Judgment Day, as predicted by 89-year-old Harold Camping of Family Radio. Camping predicted that there was going to be a worldwide earthquake at precisely 6:00 pm. During this earthquake, everyone who believes in God was supposed to be taken up to heaven, and those who do not believe in God would remain on Earth. The people left here on Earth would suffer five months until an eventual death of fire on October 21st, 2011.

Well, we didn’t die.

There were no zombies or appearances by Christ. Worse yet, this wasn’t the first time Camping incorrectly predicted the end of the world; other previously predicted judgment days were May 21st, 1988, and September 7th, 1994.

All of Camping’s predictions are based on mathematical calculations. Camping’s followers claimed that approximately 3% of the world’s population would be raptured or taken to heaven. Reports say that Camping was “flabbergasted” that the Rapture did not happen.

“People believed him before, and he was wrong, so why would they do it again?” said FAHS student Kimberly Santiago.

When Camping was asked what he thought of the letdown of the non-Rapture, he responded by spinning his words around to say that Judgment Day really did happen. A few days after the predicted Rapture, Camping said it was invisible and that we just didn’t see it. He explained that, instead of a physical judgment, it was more spiritual. He also warns that the end of the world is still coming on October 21, 2011.

“I think the whole thing is a hoax,” says FAHS student Ellie Tracy.

Camping admitted that his one mistake had been reading the bible and taking it in a physical way instead of a spiritual one.

For now, the world will wait on edge for Camping’s follow-up Apocalypse.

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