The Roaming Gnome Roams South

Posted on November 18, 2011 by


Hello! Welcome to my very first “Where is that Gnome?!” I, that gnome, will be somewhere in the USA and you must figure out where I am. As I hope everyone else does, I will be starting my adventure at my home in Fleetwood. I am, as a matter of fact, the Fleetwood roaming gnome! Here I go!

I left my mushroom some hours back, picked up a doughnut, and I was almost ready to go on my first adventure. Although I was a bit terrified to go on the flying beast that was to take me to my destination, it was not so bad. The bathrooms were small, and I do not even want to start on the food, but overall it wasn’t so bad. Getting off that thing was a completely different adventure in itself.

My hotel was amazing. They were always playing rock and roll music and they hung stringed sticks on the wall. My mom would never have allow me to do anything like that in my home. I got myself some fish and chips from a restaurant quite like the hotel I was staying in and retired for the night.

On this day, I visited a castle. Although the view was fantastic, the benches inside it were terrifying. I did not mean to sit down, but someone pushed past me and forced me on it. Next thing I know, I am flying around the castle being chased by a dragon. When I finally escaped the dreaded dragon, I was crawled on by a billion spiders! Then I fell down a hole and came face to face with a gigantic snake skeleton. That will be the last time I ever go into a castle.

Although the previous day’s events left me scared beyond belief, this day was no better. I seemed to have traveled to a giant sandbox where a whole bunch of dogs resided. I was worried that one of them was going to relieve itself on my boots. What scared me even more was when this thing wrapped in toilet paper was trying to seemingly take my soul. Before I high-tailed it out of there, I got a “mummy hearts my soul” mug.

Today is my final day, so I was not going into any castles today. Looking back , I probably should have said castles, shapes, and a green man ride. I accidentally went on this ride where I could choose what music to listen to. I thought it was a simple music shop. My suspicion rose after I selected “Bring me to Life” by Evanescence, and they pulled down a seat restraint. I then found myself being shot like a rocket and going through loops and flips, not to mention that I almost lost my favorite hat. Afterwards, thinking my luck would change, I got onto this ride with a strange man with four robotic arms. I was ready to go back to my mom and my mushroom after that.

I do not know how, but I got back on the ole’ flying beast. It was not as bad.  Nearing Pennsylvania, I had to put on my winter coat and trousers. I never noticed that pine trees look nothing like palm trees. Maybe I can convince my mom to redecorate my mushroom into the room at the hotel and put an electric palm tree in my yard.

So, can you figure out where I went on vacation?

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