April Fools: Ray Buss Field to Be Renamed Corbett Center

In 2009, the new Ray Buss field opened to Fleetwood Athletics. Ray Buss, a former Fleetwood student and local soccer hero, was the school board’s first choice when naming the field just three years ago. Since then, however, school board members have felt another individual was more deserving.

On 20 March 2012, it was decided that the field would be changed from “Ray Buss Field” to “The Corbett Center.” This name, of course, derives from the state’s current governor Tom Corbett.

“Corbett is a friend of Fleetwood School District and the best friend of education. What’s soccer compared to the knowledge obtained at Pennsylvania’s public institutions of learning?” said Fleetwood school board member Nick McDermitt.

Corbett, who has cut millions of dollars from schools across Pennsylvania, has proven that the cuts are justified. In a surprising turn of events, schools have actually improved the equality of their instruction through the elimination of small class sizes, modern technology, and dubious subjects such as “art” and “music.”

In Fleetwood, residents are more than happy to see money get cut from schooling and pumped into prisons.

“If I have to lose my job to make this great state more secure, then so be it,” said music professor Kurt Barnt. “How can we hope for a positive future without hundreds of prisons here in PA?”

The renaming of the stadium will include a ceremony, which will showcase the revealing of a marble statue featuring Corbett and several five-year-olds, all of whom earned an extra year of freedom after the cancellation of Kindergarten. Multiple art teachers in the district assisted in the process of chiseling the figure.

“I can’t think of anyone friendlier to education than Tom Corbett. Constructing the statue was just such an unbelievable honor,” said Jane Barnabus, a former art teacher at Fleetwood’s Andrew Maier Elementary School.

The unveiling is set to happen on 22 May at the former Ray Buss stadium. Corbett will not be in attendance as he will be visiting multiple Pennsylvania State Prisons to decide where the money pumped out of public schooling will end up.