Ignition Remix Fails to Spark Naion’s Fire

Posted on June 18, 2013 by

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In what might be considered fortunate or unfortunate depending on one’s point of view, the petition aiming to make the Obama Administration recognize the need for a new national anthem failed.

From the words of the petitioners “We, the undersigned, would like the Obama Administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen.”

The song they were referencing was, of course, “Ignition (Remix)” by R&B artist R. Kelly. Largely considered to  be Kelly’s anthem and his most popular song, “Ignition” is a song about partying on the weekend.

As to why the petitioners wanted the particular song as the national anthem, the official statement by the petitioners was that “America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and after the party, it’s the hotel lobby – perhaps most importantly – that ‘round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room… President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.”

Whether the petitioners were pranksters or die-hard Kelly fans wishing to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the song’s release remains uncertain. Whatever the motive, for President Obama to even acknowledge the petition, it needed at least 100,000 signatures, of which it fell painfully short , only getting around 10,000-15,000.

“I love the song, but I don’t think it’s a great idea to have our National Anthem written by a guy who [has made such questionable moral choices],” senior Anthony Parzanese said.

Whether good or bad, it appears that the United States of America will be sticking with the “Star Spangled Banner.”

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