The Corny Jokes Column

Posted on November 14, 2010 by

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WARNING—Reading this may make you temporarily confused, angry, or happy. No responsibility can be taken by The Tiger Times staff. It is not their fault that the jokes are so bad.

Two muffins were sitting in an oven; one muffin says, “Whoa! It’s hot in here!”
In reply, the other muffin says, “Whoa! A talking muffin!”

A snail was slithering along one day in the desert when two turtles came along and stole the snail’s shell. Later, when rabbit came along and asked the snail what happened, the snail replied, “I don’t know!  It all happened so fast!”

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?
Dinosaur.
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaur because he fell down the stairs.

Q: What do patriotic apes wave on Flag Day?
A: Star-spangled bananas.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle I do if you don’t open the door?

Q: What happened when 500 hares got loose in the center of town?
A: The police had to comb the area.

Q: What do you call a popular perfume?
A: A best smeller.

Q: What did the nut say when it sneezed?
A: Cashew!

A customer goes into a restaurant and has a sour look on his face because of the smell of the seafood.  He asks the waiter; “Do you serve crabs?”
The waiter looks at the sour-looking man and says, “Yes, we serve everyone, sir.”

Q: What’s an astronaut’s favorite sandwich?
A: Launch meat!

Q: Why did the baby cookie cry?
A: Because its mommy was a wafer so long

Q: What do planets use to download music?
A: Neptunes.

Q: What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
A: I’m stuck on you.

Q: Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
A: His doctor told him stakes were bad for his heart.

Q: What country did candy come from?
A: Sweeten.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?
T-Rex.
T-Rex who?
There is a T-Rex at your door and you want to know it’s name?

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