April Fools: FAMS Science Teacher Confirms Flat-Earth Theory

Posted on April 1, 2019 by

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FAMS science teacher Mr. Kyle Bollendorf went on a science expedition to put an end to the Flat versus Round Earth debate. What he discovered may be a shock.

“I’ve heard rumors of the ridiculous ice walls situated at the edge of the ‘disc,’ so I decided to check it out,” Bollendorf said.

His journey began in the Himalayan Mountain Region, where he met with an Asian researcher named Pagan Min. Slightly above the Mt. Everest Base camp lies his observatory with a telescope aimed at Antarctica.

Upon peering through the telescope, Mr. Bollendorf said he saw a slight white bulge.

“I argued to Pagan that it was just atmospheric refraction that caused me to see the top of the ice wall. Eventually, he offered to take me on a once in a lifetime trip to see the ice wall up close,” Bollendorf goes on to say.

The next leg of Mr. Bollendorf’s expedition took the two to Singapore, where they met up with Willis Huntley from America, who was a former astronaut. He presented to Bollendorf the photos he snapped of Flat Earth.

Huntley now resides in Singapore because he is in hiding from NASA. Also, he acknowledges that the earth is flat and Plato’s geocentric model of the solar system is accurate.

“Willis agreed to fly us as close as possible to the ice wall without being spotted by the globalists. The first thing he asked was, ‘Kyle, are you a patriot?’ Apparently he doesn’t trust people who aren’t patriots,” Bollendorf said.

The nearest runway was 45 clicks to the East. According to Bollendorf, he and Pagan had to skydive onto the continent after more than 7,000 miles of flying.

“That’s when I saw the biggest mass of ice in my entire life way up in the sky.  I still had my doubts. My left-brained self made me think it was a glacier. So I just went with that,” Bollendorf said.

The two hiked for more than 4 hours to reach the wall.

“As the wall grew bigger and bigger, I was getting more and more confused. Regardless, it was clear that the Earth was flat. Right in front of me was the ice wall,” Bollendorf said.

Bollendorf now describes the Flat Earth to his students by suggesting it is like Pangea with a giant wall around it. 

Posted in: Aaron Poper