April Fools: FAHS to Prohibit Camo over Fears of Invisibility

Posted on April 1, 2023 by

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The tyranny of the easily seen has finally reached Fleetwood.

Fleetwood has banned camouflage. The decision is not without controversy. This has many students in an uproar. The school’s reason for banning camo? It makes it more difficult to see students. 

“This is blatant authoritarianism, worse than anything I have ever seen,” Fleetwood Area High School sophomore John Heuchler said. “Sure, today it’s just camouflage, but what’s next? People wearing tye-dye? It just can’t happen!”

He was not alone in his opposition to the ban. A poll conducted by one Fleetwood Area High School senior (who wishes to remain anonymous) showed that about 58% of students would oppose such a ban, with 24% supporting it, and the remaining 18% having no opinion.

That 24% has, however, been anything but quiet on the issue.

“I support the school’s actions with every fiber of my being,” Fleetwood Area High School Junior Jay Justo said.

Luckily, for camo-loving seniors, the ban will not become effective until the beginning of next school year.

“I’m glad it won’t ever affect me, but I still find it necessary to oppose this measure as a matter of principle. I’m a registered Libertarian, and this ban just doesn’t jive with my values,” Fleetwood Area High School Senior Thomas Stockton said.

Staff members are also very passionate about this issue, several staff members commented that they oppose the ban, all of whom said they wish to remain anonymous, so as to not publicly criticize school policy.

Some teachers however have spoken in favor of the ban.

There is no doubt that this issue has sowed division amongst the students and staff of Fleetwood Area High School.

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Posted in: Jacob Rauenzahn